Getting Things Will Not Make You Happy

This is the title of a post on one of the blogs I follow. I find it to be so true. And its interesting that I saw it today.

I ranted-out on my facebook page today and when I really think about it, I acting in the way I should be. I wasn't acting in the way I profess to act, which is, "Do onto others...".

After I loaded my bike onto the bike rack on the front of the bus, and then got on, the bus driver said to me, "Wouldn't it be easier for you to get on at Forest Park (the "el" station) than here. Look at all the traffic that is backed up now." There were about four or five cars behind the bus. "Well," I thought "actually it wouldn't be easier for me to get on at the station." The place where I get on is closer to my house, it allows me to avoid crossing a busy street that feeds onto the expressway, and I thought I was making it easier for traffic using this bus stop. I thought, "I've been standing, waiting, in the chilly fall morning for about 10 minutes for the bus. They can wait the minute and a half, in their heated cars, for me."

Well, now that I think about it, I was wrong. That is no way to "do unto others". I put myself first. I should be more considerate. But...

I was cranky. (That's no excuse, its just a reason.) It took comments from 2 facebook friends for me to realize I was just being a whiner.

In the last couple years, I've been feeling very pressured to "fit in - be like everyone else". "You need to buy a car." "You need to wear different clothes." (Translation "buy new clothes") "You need to get your hair colored and styled" Translation "buy a new look") "You need to watch TV, nobody wants to hear about the books you read." (Translation "buy a new TV to replace the one that broke, then buy cable") Its buy, purchase, get, acquire.

Been there, done that. Have the debt to prove it. And it never made me happy. I associated the bus driver's comment with another directive to buy. Wrong, I know.

I've learned that what really matters isn't the things you have or give, but the memories you give and have. There is a song I like that goes "I want to leave a legacy, how will they remember me". When I think about the people who are no longer in my life, I don't think about the things they had, but the times we had. When my brother, sister and I get together and talk about my mom or grandmother or grandfather, we talk about the fun and funny things that happened. We don't pull out a box of stuff. The song just wouldn't be the same if went "I want to leave the biggest box of stuff."

Getting things will not make you happy, but making memories will get you happy.

Goodbye Summer

Oh my! It been way to long...

I've been feeling very blue lately. I think I'm sad to be saying goodbye to the summer. I looked forward to the warm days, long evenings for so long that I can't believe they are almost gone. I refuse to let them go.

I will continue to bike into work until there is snow on the ground. (Too dangerous to do it with snow.) I'll have to go shopping for my appropriate cool and cold weather biking clothes. I don't want to give it up because I enjoy it so much, and the daily exercise is starting to show. A few people have told me I look like I've lost weight so, now that I'm on a roll, I can't stop. now. I've thought about an alternative "active transportation" method for snowy days - I thinking about snow-shoes. http://www.rei.com/expertadvice/articles/snowshoeing+first+steps.html

I usually look forward to the fall - I like the season. I like every season except winter. I look forward to every season - a new beginning. Things to look forward to; so many possibilities. But this year the fall is only a warning that winter is comming. Or perhaps I've lost faith that a new season can bring new beginnings, possibilities. I sometimes feel like there is nothing to look forward to anymore; just more of the same routine. Is this what it feels like to get "old".

Before this post turns too sad, I will end with happy things. Won an award at work with a sweet cash prize. (I still have to buy myself a gift with the money - just need to decide what I want.) Got a good performance review with a nice raise. Attended a school assembly with my niece as a "cherished person".